


Never without you

by Silly_sander_blue



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bipolar Disorder, Communication, Emotional Hurt, Kissing, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26651416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silly_sander_blue/pseuds/Silly_sander_blue
Summary: Sander suggesting something and then regrets it but he runs away instead of communicating with Robbe about it.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Never without you

As he walks through the cold dark damp Streets he feels the tears roll down his cheeks and disappear into the collar of his black hoodie. The cold wind blows and hits his wet face and makes him shiver. He doesn't know where he is nor does he know what time it might be. The street is almost empty and the only thing that can be heard is the wind going through buildings and making this creepy woo sound and Sander's black boots hitting the damp concrete with every lazy aimless step that he takes. Though an hour ago he had a purpose as he walked out of the bar that he had entered with Robbe. He wanted to run away from the love of his life from the fact that he wasn't enough for Robbe anymore that his darkest nightmares were about to hunt him in real life. So he ran away.   
It was his own fault after all . He was the one who asked Robbe if they could bring someone else into their bedroom. He was the one feeling over confident , never expecting himself to get insecure and doubtful about how Robbe felt about him. Though now he knows that when he insisted on bringing someone else, when his brain told him that it would be fun and new and adventures and exciting he was maniac. His brain was messing with him again. Telling him something that wasn't true at all.   
But Robbe , oh his sweet Robbe accepted his request. Though he was hesitant at first but he gave into Sander's wish again and now sander hates himself even more knowing how embarrassed and confused Robbe might feel right now. Yes he definitely is mad at sander. He forced Robbe to do it and left him alone when Robbe finally went for it.

Tonight they had a kind of date with another guy that Robbe had met through friends at a party. After sander insisted on it Robbe had decided that he would find someone himself and talk to to the guy for a while to agree on boundaries and expectations they had. And of course he had shown sander all their texts and let him know what was going on and also sharing Sander's opinion with the guy to come up with something good for all of them.  
They were supposed to meet Friday _tonight_ to finally going for something that they had planned. But when they arrived everything changed in Sander's head all of a sudden. The guy was handsome, very handsome. He was tall and he had black hair and a good built up body and suddenly Sander wasn't feeling at ease anymore. They started chatting and Robbe and the guy _ his name was Willem _ fell into a conversation and everything seemed to be fine. But in Sander's brain there was literally a storm going on. He tried to distract himself by sipping on his drink but there was no use.   
As the time passed with the music going on in the bar the guy suggested a little dancing would be good to start things. When he said that he winked at Robbe and God Robbe giggled and it could have been the last straw for sander to take Robbe's hand and take him home and never think about sharing him with anyone anymore. But as stupid and stubborn as he was he just sat there and watched the guy drag Robbe to the dance floor and press his back to his own chest and his own fucking dick that was obviously hard from being pressed to Robbe's ass and start kissing on his neck and grip at Robbe's hips all while looking right into Sander's eyes.  
And fuck what did sander do? He fucking accepted his own lost and got the fuck out of the bar thinking he had lost Robbe to someone that he himself had insisted to bring in their relationship. He fucking hates himself . What a loser. It make sense after all. He is crazy and obviously Robbe would get tired of him one day so no matter when, it was inevitable.  
His phone is buzzing in his pocket but he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. He just wants to go home and disappear under the blanket and never comes out of it.

As he arrives to his mother's house he tries to make his face somehow decent. He clears his throat once or twice and wipes the tears away from his own face. He rings the bell as he waits for his mom to open the door for him. It takes less than a minute for her to come to the door.  
"Hi sander what are you doing here honey? Are you ok?"   
Sander just nods and stares at his boots.  
"Ok come in it's freezing outside." She lets him come in and as he's rushing to go to his room to avoid any further questions his mom says "Robbe called me asking if you were here"   
And sander stopes in his track and just closes his eyes for a second. Embarrassment washing all over him as he remembers again how he left him in the bar. He is such an awful boyfriend.  
He doesn't say anything as he starts to go to his room again but he hears his mom shouting from behind him in the living room "I will call him to let him know you are here darling. " And sander is grateful that his mom is somehow making it easier for Robbe because he is being the worst boyfriend himself. God how much he wants to punch himself in the face.  
He goes right into his bed and bury himself under the covers as the new tears starts to stream down his face and drop on the pillow under his head .  
His mom knocks on the door after five minutes and comes inside. She sits on the edge of the bed beside Sander's body and caresses his blond hair out of his face.  
"Are you ok darling? Do you want to talk about it?"   
And sander thought he was able to control himself but there is just something with moms that when they ask you if you are ok or not you just can't lie to them. And even worse you can't stop yourself from breaking down in front of them. So is the same for sander and he starts sobbing loudly as she bends down and put her arms around him and whisperes in his ears things like it's ok darling , I'm here it's ok.  
And sander does not know how much time passed but he eventually calms down and starts to get sleepy as his mom holds him. He finally goes into sleep but his nightmares never let his mind rest for the whole night. 

He feels the weak warm rays of autumn sun on his face and slowly opens his eyes which still sting from all the crying he did last night.  
And as he slightly turns his head to the source of light that was coming through the window he sees Robbe sitting on the chair beside his desk and staring at him. His eyes are showing how exhausted he is and honestly sander can't pinpoint how Robbe is feeling since his facial expression is kind of unreadable or maybe sander just feels too guilty and embarrassed to see anything but anger and sadness in Robbe's eyes.  
"Hi" Robbe whispers as he keeps his eyes on sander.  
Sander tries to say something , he really fucking tries but his throat is burning and his eyes are brimming with tears and he curses his fucking depressive episodes in his head as he turns around and buries his face in his pillow and covers the rest of his upper body and his head with the blanket.  
He feels movement on the bed and feels Robbe's body on his back and his hand on his own waist as Robbe tries to lie down beside behind him under the covers.  
"It's ok I'm here." Robbe says trying to calm him down but it just makes him feel more embarrassed and fucked up as he makes himself smaller and pulls himself further from Robbe's embrace.  
"Sander" Robbe whispers as he desperately tries to bring sander closer to his chest.  
"Nothing happened last night I swear." Robbe says in a pleading tone and sander can feel his hot breath over his own cheek that is wet from tears.  
"Go away Robbe. I'm toxic I just ruin everything for you." Sander tries to get it out as he silently sobes.  
"Sander. Don't say that. You didn't ruin anything. It's normal it happens. It was our first time doing something like that and it is an unknown territory."   
Sander turns his head slightly to Robbe "but I chickened out like a jerk and left you there. I'm so stupid. I was the one asking for that I forced you into doing it and then I left you like that..."   
And suddenly he feels Robbe's arms tighten around him and feels his mouth close to his own ear as Robbe says it's ok and calls Sander's name and asks him to breath with him. Then he realises how fast he has been talking and how hard he has been breathing.  
He closes his eyes and brings his hand up to his chest and puts it on top of Robbe's hand on his heart which is beating like crazy in his ribcage. He tries to even out his breathing trying to get help from Robbe's sweet and calming presence knowing there is no use in talking when he is so overwhelmed like this.

After a couple of minutes _ honestly sander has lost track of time as he clings to Robbe's presence to ground himself_ he turns his head slightly and finds Robbe's beautiful eyes already on himself.  
"Sorry." He whispers.  
"It's ok. It's not your fault. It happens. I just wish you would talk to me." Robbe says as he kisses Sander's cheek.  
Sander takes some time and Robbe lets him takes his time before saying what he wants to say.  
"I just thought I could handle it. I thought I was confident enough but when he touched you I just lost all my power. I got ridiculously jealous and I felt like I was losing you."   
Robbe kisses his cheek one more time before saying " you will never lose me sander . I love you."   
Sander closes his eyes and lets Robbe's words of affection and love sink in his mind. He clings to Robbe's hands and presses himself more into his chest. And Robbe does the same as he gets closer and tightens his hold around sander.  
"What did he say?"   
"He was understanding. He said it was normal or expected. He was a psychologist himself and he explained that it might happen for partners to feel possessive all of a sudden even if it has been arranged or planned."   
"A psychologist? So he probably has seen many fucked up ill people like me that's why he was not shocked." Sander said in a dark and bitter way.  
"Sander don't say that. Don't say it about my favourite person. You are not fucked up. And beside I didn't tell him about your mental illness not because it was embarrassing but because it is yours to say. I'm not allowed to share it with anyone if you don't want to."  
And then a comfortable silence falls between them as sander contemplates all the things that Robbe told him.  
"I'm sorry." Sander says "I should have talked to you when I felt weird about it instead of running away. You are the best thing in my life and I ran away from you. It was wrong I'm sorry."   
"It's ok." Robbe says "would you give me a kiss now?"   
Sander turns his head and finds Robbe's lips already approaching.  
They keep kissing and sander is more than happy for having this angle in his life.  
"I missed you." Sander murmures against Robbe's lips.  
Robbe brings his hand that is resting on Sander's chest to his ass and squeezes it.  
And sander moans into the kiss.  
"Is it ok?" Robbe asks as he keeps massaging his thighs and hips.  
"Yes please don't stop." Sander says as he stretches his neck to give Robbe more Access to his neck. And Robbe takes his time with Sander's body as he keeps kissing his neck and reaching the waist band of his underwear and lets his fingers slowly goes to his hole.  
Sander moans as he feels Robbe's fingers around his hole and he tries to press his ass to Robbe's dick that is already half hard.  
"Fuck me Robbe please." He feels so vulnerable right now that he might burst out crying but at the same time he feels so safe with Robbe . He can trust Robbe and it makes him to let go and leaves himself in Robbe's mercy.  
Robbe brings his fingers to Sander's mouth "lick them wet baby." And sander starts sucking his fingers desperately while Robbe whispers in his ears "that's it make them wet yeah just like that."  
Robbe takes his fingers out after a minute and kisses sander as he slides a finger inside his hungry hole and Sander's hole swallows his fingers one by one as Sander's moans get louder and he can't wait any longer.  
"Baby I'm ready fuck me please."   
And Robbe doesn't waste a second as he unzipes his own pants and takes his leaking cock out and pushes it into Sander's hole after teasing it a little.  
Sander brings his left hand to dig his nails into Robbe's ass as Robb thrusts into him.  
The room is filled with their moans and pants and the sound of Robbe's hips slapping against Sander's plump ass as they get closer to their climax.  
Robbe brings his hand to Sander's desperate cock as he whispers in his ear "are you gonna come for me baby? Are you close?"   
And sander nods frantically in response as Robbe fucks him fast and hard. It's so euphoric that makes Sander's eyes brim with tears.  
"I'm gonna come." And sander comes all over Robbe's hand. And it just takes Robbe a couple of more thrust to come deep inside sander as they both moan Robbe for going through his climax and sander for being filled with his lover's cum to the brim.  
Robbe brings his cum covered fingers to his own mouth and stares into Sander's eyes as he licks them clean.and sander kisses him with all the energy that is left in his body and tastes himself on Robbe's lips and tongue.  
"I love you. You are this for me sander. Please don't run away from me."   
Sander buries his face in Robbe's chest as he says "I love you too. I'm sorry it won't happen again. I'm not running away anymore."  
"Good." Robbe smiles as he buries his nose in Sander's hair and tightens his arms around the most important person in his life.


End file.
